Light's Foundation
by Kirabaros
Summary: Mary comes to the decision to leave the bunker and Angela supports her decision. She also comes to the realization of her own condition and accepts that changes must be made. Tag to The Foundry.


**Light's Foundation**

"I can't be here."

Angela watched as Mary hugged Sam and said her goodbyes. She didn't want to intrude and she knew that it was going to be hard on everyone. Even she didn't want Mary to leave them but she understood the reasons why. It was just one of those things that sucked even though it was the right thing to do.

It was a family hunting trip as Dean called it to St. Paul, Minnesota. It was a case of adults being lured by a baby's cry to their deaths. It was a case that interested her and she was willing to go along with it for Mary's sake. She knew that it was a means of coping and it really threw Sam and Dean for a loop since she calmly agreed that it was worth looking into.

It certainly had been fun watching Dean's face from the back seat when Mary told him that she could make better homemade jerky. She hadn't mentioned it previously and enjoyed the fact that Mary teased her eldest son that she went through the same thing only she got the jerky within a month of knowing her. It certainly brought a laugh but it also showed Angela what Mary was going through.

It was a hunch that Mary had and Angela supported and went with her even though it was probably not a good idea for her to be doing any hunting in the first place. Sam had been a bit more overprotective lately since the kidnapping and subsequent spirit warrior thing zapped her energy to the point that she slept in but it didn't stop Sam from bringing her breakfast in bed. Mary was more subdued and would have tea with her.

As it turned out, the man who lost his daughter had kept the children he killed bound to him. He possessed Mary and he almost hurt her because she was pregnant; she had a child. They did manage to burn the remains and free the children but that didn't help the feelings that Mary was feeling and Angela sensed it. And it was why she knew it was inevitable.

She made it a rule to not use her empath abilities especially on her family. She only broke it because it was necessary like when she calmed Sam down at that resort and to soothe children that were scared. This time she used it to sense Mary's feelings about trying to fit in. It helped when she stood by Mary's decision to leave them to find her way.

She stood in the entry hall as Mary said her goodbyes while trying to deal with the fact that the baby decided to do a tap dance on her kidneys at that moment. She tried to hide it since that would really have Sam start to hover around. She didn't blame him but at the moment it wasn't about her; it was about her best friend trying to live in a world that was vastly different from the one she had left. She also felt a little angry at Amara.

She was certain that Chuck's sister meant well but… Mary was happy in her place in heaven. She had what she knew taken from her and thrust into this. She knew how that felt all too well. She never told Sam or Dean about when she first died and that the memories she stayed in were the ones that had both her parents together at the villa in Tuscany. When she was brought back… She understood and see a little but it wasn't the same. And she knew that Mary wasn't really leaving her or the boys.

When Mary, headed towards the door, Angela looked up and said, "Mary."

Mary paused and looked at Angela. "Angie…"

Angela cut off Mary by cupping her cheek. It was nothing unusual since she had done that before when Mary was younger. She looked at her friend with a gentle smile as she took in the shortened hair that she had helped her with and her appearance. Finally, she said, "This is like the last time."

Mary was struck with familiarity and she felt comfortable. It made her want to stay instead of leave because it was so familiar. She had stayed as long as she had because Angela was her one constant while trying to adjust. She sighed in relief as she relaxed in Angela's touch as she was very familiar with what her friend was doing.

Angela watched as Mary relaxed and smiled, "There are many paths before us even before we take the first step. Some we can take with others and others… the choice is ours alone." She slowly reached up with her other hand and caressed Mary's head after running her fingers through her hair. "The choice is yours and it is what you feel is right. In the end, we must be sure of ourselves. Do what you think and feel is right."

"You haven't changed," Mary whispered as tears started leaking out.

Angela smiled as she held Mary's head and brought her forehead to hers and touch it gently. "I told you to do what makes you happy and you found John and did what you wanted. I am telling you the same now." She took a breath in to commit Mary's scent. "It hasn't been fair to you being here." She then whispered, "I know what it is like to have something as wonderful as what you had in heaven taken away."

"Angie," Mary breathed, "I don't want to leave you or my boys."

"I know." Angela closed her eyes and rubbed her head slightly on Mary's and felt Mary do the same. "But if this is to be, you need to be sure of yourself. Isn't that why you came to me when you met John?"

Mary knew that. It was why she felt grounded just standing there with her head being held affectionately by her best friend. She could recall how crazy it made her dad because it put her in position to break her neck. Her dad never liked Angela because she was half vampire. "You always were honest with me even if it hurt you."

Angela pulled back to look Mary in the eye but still held her head. "And it has always been a reward to see people live their lives as they want." She smiled before pressing a kiss to Mary's forehead. "It's all I will ever want for you."

Mary took a breath since she was about to cry as she stepped back. She felt Angela's hands slip from her face and reached out to hold them in her hands. "Don't ever change."

Angela smiled as she clasped her right over Mary's right. She continued to smile as her hand lit up as she had done for Charlie. When she was done, she said, "I'll always be with you Mary. I won't leave you again."

When she pulled her hands away, Mary looked down and saw a small tattoo on the top of her right hand between her first finger and thumb. She blinked and then looked up at Angela. Her mouth opened trying to find the words to say.

"I won't leave you," Angela repeated with a smile. She looked down at Mary's hand and then back at her. She said no more as she watched Mary climb the stairs to the entrance to the bunker. She watched as Mary left with a loud clang but she didn't flinch. She merely stared at the entrance until Mary had gone.

It was quiet for a time as Angela continued to stare at the door. She didn't even feel it when her lower back ached and the baby gave a well-placed kick. She merely stared as if deep in thought but it was more like she was watching Mary from afar as she had done the first few week after she severed ties with her. She would watch as Mary was happy when she dated John and was there when she married him though she never knew it. She had made a promise to stay away and she did after that but it wasn't always so.

She couldn't completely stay away but she stayed away enough to provide that cushion Mary wanted. Later she found out that Mary never wanted her to leave. At the time though… Angela understood what Mary felt like. She remembered when she saw Dean running like a happy child after she got him through that bad bout of pneumonia; it probably would have killed him. Those were her fondest memories of Dean when he was a child and deep down, it was why she treated him as such when she teased him. Sam was a different story.

Mary had called her when Sam was sick and on the verge of dying. She came because it was Mary though she could admit that she rather liked the little bundle of joy Sam was. Still her fondest memories were seeing Mary happy. So yeah, she knew the feeling well. It wasn't exactly the same but she knew it and could relate. It was why she could let Mary go like she did and knew that it wasn't because she didn't want to be with them. It was because she loved them that she had to go.

"The head knows what the heart forgets but sometimes it just needs time to click," Angela murmured as she stared up at the door. She rested her hand on her abdomen and took a moment to really think about things.

Change was always the hardest thing to accept. Luckily for her, she had years in the bank was able to move with the times but there were some things that took time to accept. One was the fact that she was no longer the lone wolf warrior she had been. True she had partners but she treated them like ships passing through the night kind of thing. Then came the Winchesters and she just couldn't leave them and she found she didn't want to. She stayed and fell in love and they got married. She gave a slightly wry smile at how that happened.

Being in a relationship with Sam, it was a big change and that came with its bumps in the road but she still went on the hunt. They were a team and they backed each other up. She never saw a difference. Even with the painful revelations they stood by each other and carried on. Then came the news that she was pregnant and even then it didn't quite click completely. She carried on even through the bouts of morning sickness, the strange cravings and desires and never sat back and let it sink in. She didn't even let it sink in the time when Balthazar changed the timeline and she found out then and when it was switched back…

Change was never easy to accept or acknowledge and Angela knew she was guilty of that. She never claimed to be an authority or expert on anything. To her that was hubris. Here it was willful ignorance. Part of it was because that she didn't want to be seen as weak; she never accepted fully that it was okay to show a little vulnerability, at least not until Sam said that it was okay and told her she didn't have to be afraid with him. Another part was that hunting was all she knew. She had given up being normal or as close to normal in terms of being domesticated a long time ago even though she had tried to do it after Mary died. It took near stupidity on John's part to drag her bag in and she took over making sure the damn fool didn't get himself killed.

She had always been called a warrior, a killer, a hunter… all those things that were associated with violence and death. Even when she healed someone it was always the warrior princess or by any other name she was known as. She had never been called a mother though that started to change when Hibah came into her life and she could admit that it was somewhat like that with Augusta. Now she realized that was what she was going to be and it wasn't going to be like three months and then grownup like with Hibah. This was for a lifetime and that was different.

Standing there in the entryway of the bunker, Angela realized completely for the first time how terrifying the prospect of raising a child from birth to adulthood seemed and with no supernatural intervention to speed things up. It had her wonder if that was how her own mother had felt when she was growing up. All she remembered were the smiles even when she rushed and did things without a care or thought in the world. She must have worried her mother constantly and yet she was always all smiles and never let her see her fears, her worries. She didn't even know that there were still nasty things about her and her birth going around because her mother stepped up as a de Medici and kept that away. It made her wonder if she would ever be what a mother should.

Not saying anything, Angela quietly turned and walked away to think about things. The library seemed to be a quiet space and it wasn't like Sherlock or Gabriel would bother her. Not even her old Xana Samadean would be a bother and he was out with another kid. She sat in the plush chair that had been dubbed the sleeping chair since it was comfortable enough to fall asleep in and she had found both Winchesters asleep in it more than once during a late night of whatever was on their minds. And it was comfortable enough to ease the pain in her lower back.

"Is Mary gone?"

Angela looked up to see Sherlock passing through with a book that he was looking at. She replied, "Yes. She has to figure a few things out."

Sherlock peered at her and then muttered in his Bostonian aristocratic accent, "A pity. I rather enjoyed the presence of someone who knew what they were doing."

Angela hummed at that knowing that the Librarian liked her too, "And she liked you despite the fact that you said those things about Dean." She remembered Mary's reaction when Sherlock greeted Sam and Dean in his usual fashion.

"Well I wasn't going to change my ways to suit her sensibilities," Sherlock huffed, "At least she appreciated a good old fashioned library."

Angela smiled as she watched him huff and puff away. She knew that it seemed strange that apart from her Sam and Dean living together, they acquired a Librarian which was an immortal human sort of, had a kennel of dogs, and an adolescent angel who was like the teen son of the house. Not to mention the occasional dropping in of angels that weren't total dicks. She did have a strange family but it was like Bobby said, that family didn't end with blood. She smiled in sad contentment and absently rubbed her abdomen as she recalled that.

She was still sitting like that, lost in thought when Sam found her after looking for her everywhere but there. He came up from behind and put a hand on her shoulder, "Hey."

Angela looked up and replied, "Hey yourself."

Sam pulled up a chair and sat across from her. "You… you okay?" He raised a brow slightly at his query.

"I should be asking you that," she replied softly. "She is your mother."

"But you know her too."

Angela smiled at Sam. As worried as he had been that she 'disappeared' on him, he was still concerned about her feelings. "True… which is why I told what I did and that was to do what she wanted or had to do."

"So you're… agreeing to this?"

Angela paused to study Sam. She knew he was trying to understand what was going on and there were a hundred other things on his mind too. It was enough to make her want to shed a tear or two out of guilt for her part. She did manage to say, "It was what I wanted for her. When I met her… she knew the job but then she met John and…" She gave a slight shrug. "She came to me and asking me what to do."

"And being you, you wouldn't make it for her."

"I don't do that with anyone who comes asking me," Angela pointed out. "And you know that I believe in choice."

Sam knew that and nodded silently. He reached out and grasped her hand and held it in his. He rubbed his fingers on her skin. "I forget that you would know about things like this."

"Not everything."

Sam looked up at her when she said that and saw Angela looking downward at her hand caressing her abdomen. He had a scare this last hunt and had been worried since their kidnapping and rescue and even before then. Now… "What do you mean?"

Angela knew that Sam was prone to overthink things at times and he was probably thinking the worst case scenario. She looked up at him and moved the hand he had been holding to grasp his. She knew that things were going to change drastically. This was merely the first step and the chance to build a foundation for how things were going to be. Smiling she answered, "Just that this last job made things a lot clearer. Sam… I don't think that I will be able to hunt anymore."

Change is never easy to accept. Yet Angela knew that changes had to be made. There were more important things to worry about in the grand scheme of things. Like Mary, she had to take the steps to determining what that was and she had some idea as she looked at Sam and explained her reasons.

* * *

 **A/N:** Angie supports Mary's decision to leave but also is forced to think about other things and comes to a decision. Tag to The Foundry. Enjoy.


End file.
